“Picture Christ on the cross, receipt in hand, securely saying, ‘I’ve got this one.’ Yet, here we are, fretting over the bill and offering to do dishes.”
“Friends, we’ve officially broken up with the Law, courtesy of Christ, to be in an exclusive relationship with God. Digging up the Law is like sliding into your ex’s DMs—spiritually cringe-worthy at best.”
“The doctrine of total forgiveness—simple in its profundity, profound in its simplicity—has been given the Cinderella treatment, scrubbing the floors while its stepsisters, Self-Effort and Guilt, hog the spotlight.”
“This isn’t your grandma’s ‘say three Hail Marys and try to sin a little less’ kind of deal. We’re talking about a one-stop, sin-removal shop that leaves us whiter than a bleach commercial—courtesy of Jesus’s crucifixion.”
“Enter Jesus, the show-stopping Lamb of God, whose solo performance on the cross closed the curtain on sin once and for all. No animal extras required. No sequel scheduled.”
“Your old self is as dead as disco. Gone, kaput, finito—like every mafia kingpin you’ve ever heard of. And in its place? A shiny, new, sin-resistant self that’s ready to live out its divine destiny.”
“When Jesus declared, ‘It is finished’ (John 19:30), He wasn’t just completing an IKEA bookshelf—He was sealing an eternal, unbreakable covenant.”
“Satan doesn’t have it out for you just because you’re doing something ‘big for God.’ He doesn’t wake up one morning, put on his reading glasses, and think, ‘Oh no, Bob McGregor is about to lead a prayer group. Let’s make him lose his wallet!’”
“Holding on to the Ten Commandments as your moral compass in the Spirit-led life? That’s like using an ancient blueprint for a cave-dweller’s hut to design a sleek, glass-walled penthouse—completely out of its league.”
“We’re not called to live on a diet of spiritual antacids, terrified of losing our salvation at the next hiccup. Our relationship with God isn’t a shaky round of spiritual Jenga. It’s set on the immovable foundation of God’s faithfulness.”
“Our obsession with spiritual warfare? It seems we’ve stepped into an ecclesiastical episode of ‘Who Wants to Be a Demon Slayer?’”
“Claiming the Old Testament Law is back in business in our hearts is like suggesting we bring back dial-up internet in the era of fiber-optic Wi-Fi. Who’s signing up for that?”